Thunderbolt report and introduction, spiced with a tiny bit

[Syrtaras]

DISCLAIMER: Many Ewoks have died a horrible, painful death to bring you this report. Hey - a commander needs entertainment, okay? You don't know what it's like to drown in paperwork!

Actual piece of information: This was meant to be sent out on Monday, but, well, wasn't (Shush, you! :P). So the most recent events are not covered here, even though everyone in Systems Force 2 is CCed on this mail.

Yo everybody,

here's the report for the hasty reader:

1) I'm back. Woot! Some blahblah
2) Something about myself. Mostly blahblah
3) EaW's cool, own half the galaxy
4) We've got a banner (Dayton; got a [MoM] for it)
5) We've got a 1O (also Dayton)
6) We're filled to capacity (Dayton, Raliter, Crewes, Lee, Jamie and me)
7) Play EaW. It's cool. Really!

That's it. Now, go and do whatever you think was so important you couldn't read the whole report. Off with you! :P

And here's the report for the friends of quality and art:

1) "Back in black"
It's been a while since I was given my commander RIP and officially reinstated into active service as the commanding officer of the Nebulon-B frigate Thunderbolt. Actually, that RIP was *thrown* at me by some Admiral from out of the shadows he's constantly lurking in. My forehead still hurts quite a bit.

Of course, he wishes to remain anonymous (the admiral, not my forehead), but you will soon realize that anonymity is a luxury that you'll be hard pressed to find in any unit or vessel under my command. Hear that,Admiral FEL?

Yes, it was Fel who lured me back using a combination of blackmail, bribery, promised favors, favors he claims I still owe him (I deny everything) and lots of alcohol. So, under the influence of the latter, as well as a variety of substances I am not sure are legal on ANY imperial controlled system, and confused by his incoherent babbling, I signed something that later turned out to be a transfer request back into active service. Or maybe it was a severe case of "delusions of grandeur". Memory's a bit blurry there, so my guess is as good as yours.

But I digress. It's been a while since my return and so you may have wondered when you'd hear from your ever so elusive Captain.

...
*cough*
...


2) "Me, me, me, me, me." - "Me too."
Okay, so you haven't wondered. Well... that's FINE, too. Cause you'll hear from me anyway. Muahahahahahaha! You thought you'd escape the old war stories by not showing interest, eh? Hah! Consider yourselves *un*lucky there. Your ears will start bleeding before you know it!

Actually, someone's left a note here that even the mentioning of "bleeding ears from ancient war stories" and "me making Palpatine look like a youngling" have grown old and just bore people to death on a regular base.

To do something about the unpleasant smell of rotting bodies, I guess I'll have to try something new, then. *thinks* (no, smartass, the thinking was not the new thing I had to try, thank you very much :P)

Okay, how about this: I've been in virtually any place the navy offers, have received the highest awards and have held almost all the ranks. As such, I don't give a shit about any of it. What I do care about, however, are the people under my command. I'll send extraction teams to get you out of nasty bar fights. My special agreement with the Stolle Distillery? Consider yourselves a part of it. Luxurious away trips to secluded paradise worlds? Done. Covering up your latest fraud attempts to get money for a cup holder in your station? Not a problem. Higher ups other than myself shouting at you? Let the devil's advocate (what can I say? I got around... :P) be your defense council. This is what I'll do for my subordinates. Even if they are a bunch of sorry excuses for navy personnel such as YOU LOT! :P

The only thing I expect in return is absolute kick-assedness and coolness to the point that it makes the Stolle 400 freeze. You will be the best the navy has ever seen since the glorious, legendary old days of the Striker. If you aren't, well, do the words "clean", "hull" and "toothbrush" ring a bell? I *thought* so. Whiskey vs. cleaning duty - easy enough choice, ain't it? ;-)


3) "Everything's proceeding as I have foreseen."
What can I say about Empire at War other than that it rocks? I have been playing the campaign and I am happy to report that I have conquered just about half the galaxy in the name of the Emperor. Of course, I didn't do the campaign missions directly after one another, but instead went on like a dozen or so side trips to... err... pacify (yes, that's the word, definitey :D) some worlds and free them from pirate rule and rebel insurgence.

I can stare at the galactic map in pause mode for hours, just gloating over what my next target will be. Conquering a galaxy has never been this much fun.

Of course, there are also a few quirks and things I'd like to see included in an add-on or sequel. The main ones are (at least by my book): orbital bombardements, diplomacy, planetary population support and related effects (uprisings etc.), sabotage/assassination missions, real espionage. Don't be scared now, though - the fact that these aren't in the game won't ruin it for you. It'd go from a 90% rating to a 95% one if they had included them.


4) "Ooooh, colors!"
That's right, systems are hardly online and we have a banner already. And a high quality one, at that. Kudos to Dayton, who created this fine piece of art.

It can be found (except for Jamie, who seems to have problems :P) on the FRG Thunderbolt roster: http://www.empirereborn.net/unit.php?id=127

Due to the high quality of the image, I took the liberty to award Mr Dayton a well-earned Medal of Merit for his creation. Since it was approved by none other than Admiral Fel (yes, that bribery guy from before :P), Dayton now has some more metal on his chest. Congrats!

5) *choke, collapse* "Admiral Piett?"
Promotions, promotions! I always get excited about them, so don't mind me grinning sheepishly from ear to ear when it comes to those. Well, thanks to Mr Dayton's activity, previous command experience (senile me keeps forgetting where it was, but that's cool, cause Commanders get other people to remember things for them), as well as his general coolness (officially referred to as "going above and beyond the call of duty", but we'll stick with the simpler term), he earned himself a promotion to Sub-Lieutenant and the first officer of the FRG Thunderbolt.

Old ID line: EN Dayton / Weapons Officer / FRG Thunderbolt / Imperial Navy
New ID line: SL Dayton / SCS-1O / FRG Thunderbolt / Imperial Navy

Congratulations again, Sub-Lieutenant!

6) "Recuits, sir - thousands of 'em!"
You heard right: for the first time in ages, there's - *gasp, shock, heartache* - growth in the Navy. The new names keep coming in more quickly than an old fossile like me will ever be able to deal with. I hope I won't forget anyone...

Welcome to... let's see... ARGH... assistant! Get me the list of these new officers! Now!

*Ahem*... Jamie, Raliter, Lee, Dayton and Crewes!

A variety of equipment has been placed in your quarters:
- Striker Sunglasses (tm), because we expect to see blindingly many medals on this fine ship
- The access card to the bar tab, including a coupon for one (!) free Stolle 400 Whiskey every night
- My personal golfing schedule, so you can avoid the corridors I play in - my aim has been better, y'know?
- The newly created Thunderbolt badge of coolness, which you are under orders to wear constantly. Anyone seen without it... hull, cleaning, toothbrush

7) "Send the fleet to the far side of Endor"
Many people have suggested it already and it's what you're here for anyway. So telling you to play Empire at War a lot amongst each other (FEL! When's that ladder gonna be available?!?) is not only highly encouraged, it's also an excellent way to show you take your duty of kick-assedness and coolness very seriously (which you should; reminder: cleaning, hull, toothbrush). Eventually, I hope to do competitions, tournaments, inter club events and a lot more!

Maybe, if you are lucky and catch me in a state of drunkness *quickly hides the bottle of whiskey behind his back* even I might leave the single player world once or twice and play one of you. Be aware, however, that I suck AND am a sore loser. Oh and, I am your commanding officer. Remember? Cleaning, hull... :P

So, if you don't mind me chasing you through the ship, shooting golf balls at you, feel free to give me a beating in a space or ground battle of Empire at War. :)

And that concludes the report. Wait... something's lacking. Ahh... there we go...

Syr's "Strategy for Dummies", Rule #1
Every once in a while, good stuff happens. To your surprise, no, wildly reinterpreting the situation is not necessary in this case.

[LC La Forge]

/me hugs Syrt

Yay, a report!

Now, just make sure this beauty gets into Admin! </Line_Captain-ish_Voice>

[Dayton]

The things I do for people

And btw - more shineys coming your way Syrt

[Xenophon Ualtar]

That is the best written (ie most witty) report I have had the pleasure to read. It had me laughing at a few points in it.

[Laithlis]

4) "Ooooh, colors!"
That's right, systems are hardly online and we have a banner already. And a high quality one, at that. Kudos to Dayton, who created this fine piece of art.

It can be found (except for Jamie, who seems to have problems ) on the FRG Thunderbolt roster: http://www.empirereborn.net/unit.php?id=127

Made me notice - looks like none of the banners show with Opera now (you can't even load them with direct URL). Odd that I didn't notice that before - must be a relatively new problem (or it's just me)

Anyway.. ahh, I've missed these reports. I can almost hear him shouting at me to do better..

Ahh, the memories

[steel]

It is good to see new Syrt reports, what would the GE be without them? :p
Good to have you back Syrt

[Kenseu]

Let the devil's advocate [...] be your defense council. This is what I'll do for my subordinates.

Subject them to spending time with Keanu Reeves? Man, I'm glad I'm on the Nemesis.

Explanation.

[Dayton]

Hey! That's who I use for my character pic! Keanu Reeves! Best thing ever.. Neo and the Agent

[Mike Mar]

Welcome back Syrt!

The last time we were discussing about something , I think you were holding an #6 Iron pretty close to my face , babbling about how the Empire could have won at Endor.

Oh man , I'm I happy to have made it to Commander *Before* you came back from the dead.

[Syrtaras]

Well, well, well... I can't remember what you did or said, but I am quite certain I had a totally valid reason to hold that 6 iron close to your face! :P

And regarding you making commander - just LOOK at my nice new rank and be green with envy! Bwhaahahahaaaahahaa!

[LC La Forge]

Frankly, I'm not sure why you were holding a six iron, Captain. I was always under the impression the nine iron and the sand wedge were more fear-invoking weapons.

[steel]

I can only say you guys are all lucky that Syrt stopped doing his mini-wookie researches together with Dr. Vort :p

[Xenophon Ualtar]

mini-wookie

They can be smaller ? Does that mean they are more annoying too?

[steel]

Ask Syrt or Vort about it :p
...or Qorl *g*

[Calder]

Another promotion for you in such short time being back from the Reserves. Congratulations; I'm sure you'll be very happy in your new position.